First Test, the Aftermath

Today’s text comes from Psalm 127: “In vain you rise early and stay up late, eating the bread of anxious toil…” Or in my case, eating chocolates, anxiously. Have now spent two fruitless late nights/early mornings watching England’s miserable performance in the First Test. Followed that with a late night showing of the new Bond film, in Glasgow, which was great fun, but another late night… naturally I was working the next morning, so no respite there either.

But here I am, after a few days’ intensive sleep therapy, ready for my enthusiasm to take another battering at the hands of the Aussies in the Second Test. Starts Friday. Empirical research* has shown that the Aussies are susceptible to Mingles, so they will be the sweet of choice.

Michael Vaughan, out injured for a year now, is making noises about being fit to play before the Ashes series is out.. question: with the series tied at 2-2 going into Sydney (humour me here), would you play Vaughan if he was fit? He played a warm-up game today against some 2nd XI in Perth, and scored…. 0. Ashes-winning captain he may be, but am unsure how many runs he would contribute, so the primary attraction of fast-tracking him back into the side would be for his captaincy. And if Freddie has skippered England to two victories at that stage (humour me here) would you dump him as captain to accommodate Vaughan? If he hasn’t managed to win or draw a game by that stage, it will all be academic anyway…

Sigh. Come on England. Restore our faith in you (well, mine and Friendy’s faith anyway) and give the Aussies a good pummelling this weekend. I’ve got a box of Mingles in specially.

* Outcome of trials indicates that the more Mingles consumed during a session, the more emphatic the beating taken by the Aussies. Research only undertaken on the PS2, but extrapolation of these results to real Test matches is surely a reasonable approach.

5 thoughts on “First Test, the Aftermath”

  1. OH MY WORD!!! NOW I understand why you were plying me with Mingles on Monday night! You must have loved the sight of an Aussie unwittingly assisting you in your devilish** scheme to retain the Ashes. I’m glad I only had two (from memory) and resisted further offers. THAT’S IT!!! You’re eating witchety grub when you get to Sydney!!

    **you clearly will stop at nothing to attain your goal!

  2. Witchety grub or wasabi flavoured ice-cream. Your choice. I know where both items can be found and I know a couple of big Aussie blokes who’ll “assist” you.

  3. Diana

    I fail to see why my generous and magnaminous gesture in offering you some of my very own (hard-won) Mingles has been met with such intimations of revenge…?

    If I thought that you eating Mingles over 72 hours before a Test match would materially affect the result in England’s favour, you would be seeing more of me (and my chocolates). However, everyone knows that only sweets eaten DURING THE COURSE of a game can affect its outcome.

    Witchety grubs indeed. It’ll be kangaroo steak for me.

  4. Ah, now I see. Interesting theory. The question is, will it withstand the heat of Oz itself? Perhaps those of us left in the more chocolate-friendly climate of the UK should step up to continue the research – all in the name of science of course 😉

Leave a comment here!